Lunch Quest: Edinburgh

Our burger quest made its fifth stop, today, taking advantage of the joys of the festive markets in east Princes Street Gardens. The Well Hung and Tender Beef stall is a regular visitor to these type of events. It offers locally-sourced sustenance to balance out all the glüwein, lebkuchen and other Germanic goodness on offer.


On another bitingly cold lunchtime, I made haste towards the market. Upon arrival, I was confronted with a busy hot plate of burger treats.


I opted for the Angus burger, which comprised a rustic burger, chunky onions and Lockerbie cheddar, served on a morning roll.

It came in a minimalist carrying case (a paper napkin), so the situation didn’t lend itself well to me transporting this back to the office for consumption. This was no bad thing though, as I was chilly, hungry, and the burger had a tempting aroma.


This experience was quite different to what we’d got from the Balmoral Beef Gourmet Burger Van, the other day. Where the Balmoral was a flat, wide burger, topped with a range of relishes and salad items, what we had here was a smaller, chunkier burger, that relied on the cheese and onions to add condiment detail.

The meat of the burger was very well seasoned and had good flavour. The cheese was excellent; by far the best cheese on any burger so far, not only by virtue of being the only thing that came close to being actual cheese, but also because it added a lovely mature tang to each mouthful. The onions were curiously bland, but served to add a different texture, so still did their bit to add to the overall experience.

But while the ingredients were of better quality, they weren’t brought together as effectively as the Balmoral folks had managed with theirs, so I was left a little less satisfied. The Balmoral roll was much nicer, as well.

In other exciting burger news, it appears that the first Burgher Burgers event will be presided over by none other than chef Neil Forbes of Café Saint Honoré fame. If you’ve not heard about Burgher Burgers yet, take a look at their website at: http://www.burgherburger.co.uk/ and their Twitter @burgherburger.

So, the burger quest will crack on to new and uncharted territory, next week. Maybe somewhere indoors might be good, given the increasingly inclement weather.

Scores
Blythe scores Well Hung and Tender:
4/5 for food
3/5 for presentation
3/5 for service
3/5 for setting
giving an overall 13/20

I ate: Angus burger

I drank: nothing

I wore: pinstripes

Total bill: £4

With the reappearance of the Balmoral Beef Gourmet Burger Van on the forecourt of St James’ Centre, we decided to recommence our occasional series on fast-food burgers, the previous stop on this tour having been at Snax.


Since then, a new and exciting development in the world of Edinburgh burgers has emerged, in the form of the shadowy and intriguing Burgher Burgers. We’ve yet to find out the full details of this (for example, is it a Silvio Berlusconi backed re-imagining of the bunga-bunga party, for the Morningside set?), but we await details with bated breath. These will emerge via their website and their Twitter @burgherburger.

At this time of year, with the arrival of the various festive markets, associated with celebrations for St Andrew’s Day, Christmas, then New Year, residents are spoilt for burger van choice. I dare say we might make the trip along to East Princes Street Gardens, in early December, to sample some their wares.

The burger van outside St James’ Centre has long been one of those “we must try it” places, without ever having found the right moment. Today was the day.

We were served immediately, with Gary opting for the cheeseburger, while I plumped for the cheese and bacon burger. The burgers themselves are from “locally farmed prime Scotch beef”. They come served with mayo, relish, onions and salad.

We had a very enjoyable little chat with attendant, as she efficiently went about the task of preparing things. With the financials handled, it was with a good sense of expectation that we ambled back towards the office.


I have to say that I was very happy with my burger. The beef was moist and juicy, and complemented well by the various condiments and seasonings. In particular, the soft morning roll on which it was served was an out-of-sight upgrade on anything else we’d previously sampled.


Gary was less impressed, finding the onions overpowering, and finding the overall experience very ordinary. He found the gourmet price (£4.20) was not backed up by gourmet quality.

For me, I actually didn’t find the price such an issue. Fair enough, for a quid cheaper you get chips with your burger from Snax, but I found this burger alone more filling, and more satisfying, so I’m not sure which represents better real value. We don’t have a score rating for value for this reason. Instead, we mention what you get, and what it costs, then how good we think it is, then allow readers to make their own judgement of where value resides.

Overall, we came up with a bit of split decision for the Balmoral Beef Gourmet Burger Van. I think that means that the readers have the casting vote. Go try it! I think you’ll find it a hearteningly filling beefy treat; Gary suspects you may be a little underwhelmed. The burger hunt will continue, soon. As will the mystery and intrigue surrounding Burgers for Burghers…

Scores
Gary scores Gourmet Burger Van:
3/5 for food
3/5 for presentation
4/5 for service
3/5 for setting
giving an overall 13/20

Blythe scores Gourmet Burger Van:
4/5 for food
3/5 for presentation
4/5 for service
3/5 for setting
giving an overall 14/20

We ate: cheeseburger, cheese and bacon burger

We drank: nothing

We wore: Dr Marten’s boots, sixth favourite T&A tie

Total bill: c£9

Our fast-food burger vignette continues with a trip to popular local calorie emporium, Snax.

You will no doubt remember that we’ve visited Snax before, and it provided us with solidly hearty stodge, to chase the cold away. Today we were hell-bent on sampling from their range of burgers, having already reviewed those on offer in McDonald’s and the Burger King, as part of this mini-odyssey.

I was hoping to also sample from the burger van that I recall was parked outside St James’ Centre, offering tasty looking things, but sadly it seems to have been replaced by something called Crepe Array. Perhaps it will return soon.

Anyway, to Snax we headed, choosing the route behind the galloping cuddy (as the ever reliable Mr Fleming reminds me, the horsey in question is named Copenhagen) carrying Wellington to triumph. This was for two reasons: to my mind, this is the correct route for negotiating the statue, and was the route I always took when a small child; and secondly, the tall and persistent Colin Fox blocked our path round the open side, so the narrow side seemed entirely more fitting.

My previous review covered the ambience of Snax. I hear on the grapevine that the estimable John Swinney MSP was seen “sitting-in” the other day, so it’s clearly becoming something of a celebrity hotspot.

Although the place was its useful chaotic throng, we were served immediately, both opting for the cheeseburger and chips. We were offered both onions and salad, but chose to keep it simple. Gary opted to bedeck his offering in red sauce, while I opted to simply caress my chips with brown sauce.


I was very pleased with my burger. It tasted of burger and cheese, exactly like it should have, and as Gary put it “everything about the experience was almost exactly adequate”. This is a commendable thing.


Snax is certainly an upgrade on your McDonald’s and Burger King in terms of taste and flavour. The chips were better if still not entirely brilliant. Brown sauce is always a winner with me, so this put a big smile on my face, as I contentedly munched things at my desk.

We’re going to take a little break from the fast-food burger quest, for a couple of reasons: firstly, the old arteries could use a touch of mercy; and secondly, we need to re-group and identify some additional places. One of our splendid readers has suggested an ostrich burger at the Farmer’s Market, so I’ll certainly partake of that, when I identify a Saturday morning that I’m keen to participate in. In addition, we need to find a good burger van, to replace the missing St James’ Centre one. Maybe the chap who stands at the Kirkgate might be a good place to start.

Scores
Gary scores Snax:
3/5 for food
3/5 for presentation
3/5 for service
3/5 for setting
giving an overall 12/20

Blythe scores Snax:
3/5 for food
3/5 for presentation
3/5 for service
3/5 for setting
giving an overall 12/20

We ate: Red cheeseburger and chips, Brown cheeseburger and chips

We drank: in the honey-sweet words of Colin Fox, as he lambasted the utility companies

We wore: translucent ear plaster, stylish spectacles

Total bill: £6

Well, we seem to have dived-off into an amusing little vignette, focussing on some “restaurants” that weren’t originally within our field of interest. It’s funny how life, and lunch, works out, sometimes.

Strangely enough, on the day when we read about The Mulroy’s regal launch, we decided to visit another jolly old royal, The Burger King ;-)

In my younger and more vulnerable years, I used to pop in to see the Burger King relatively regularly, often after many a pint in Pivo. I vividly recall learning a veritable profanisaurus of Spanish swear words, from one of the regular, Friday night security guards. But those days have gone, that particular palace lies vacant, and the search for Whoppers these days takes you to less glamorous spots, like Waverley Station.

As with my trip to McDonald’s, where I’d not previously had a Large Mac, so with the Burger King, I’d never previously had a Whopper. I negotiated the interplay of questioning slightly less well, on this occasion, but still managed to convey my intention with reasonable efficacy.


My dining colleague, Gary, opted for the Premium Angus meal.


We both chose a popular cola drink, as an accompaniment.


By fast food standards, we had quite a time to wait. Particularly given that this branch is located in a train station, and is presumably used to fevered commuters demanding instant meaty gratification, before boarding their clickety-clack of choice, I thought the service peculiarly sluggish.

When our meals arrived, and we had swapped them over so we had the right ones, we sat down to tuck in. If the standard of presentation for these type of places is how accurately the choice looks like its laminated photographs, then I think the Large Mac looked a little more like the photograph than the Whopper did. On the other hand, the Whopper looked a good deal more appetising though, and so it proved.

This was a burger as you might reasonably expect a burger to taste: meaty. It’s array of accompaniments, including gherkins, ketchup, tomato and lettuce, all added some element of flavour. The bun was still more foam pad than actual baked good, but I was pretty pleased with what I ate.


The fries were non-descript, and in somewhat scarcer supply than in McDonald’s but that could have been down to my ordering.

Overall, I enjoyed the Burger King’s food much more than McDonald’s but they don’t have the fast-food service working anywhere near as well, at least not in this particular branch. Our fast-food burger quest will roll on to Snax, next week. As always, we’d welcome suggestions for other places to consider. Any good burger vans lurking nearby, for example?

Scores
Gary scores Burger King:
3/5 for food
3/5 for presentation
2/5 for service
3/5 for setting
giving an overall 11/20

Blythe scores Burger King:
3/5 for food
3/5 for presentation
2/5 for service
3/5 for setting
giving an overall 11/20

We ate: Premium Angus meal, Whopper meal

We drank: popular cola drink

We wore: Belstaff jacket, ear plaster

Total bill: c.£11

We are nothing if not diverse.

Today, the golden arches beckoned us towards their speedy sustenance store. For balance, we will be attending to that other great paragon of swift burgerdom, the Burger King, soon, as well as sampling another, slightly more locally sourced equivalent, perhaps from Snax or other similar joint (recommendations welcomed).

But, on with today’s business. What more is there to say about McDonald’s than that which has already been said a hundred times over? Love them or loathe them, they are a feature of high streets up and down the land. They are the home of the “Happy Meal” and the “Big Mac”.

I am not a connoisseur of the McDonald’s products. My drinking habits usually placed me within the catchment area of the Burger King emporia, so I must admit to never having sampled a Big Mac. There’s a first time for everything, and for me today was my Big Mac deflowering.

I was accompanied for this humbling ceremony by Gary, who has been on sabbatical from lunch questing, since joining for our wondrous meal in Mithas, a few months ago.

We chose the McDonald’s outlet in Waverley Market (I still can’t quite come to terms with calling it Princes Mall), which is one of their smaller branches. The queues for the service counter were agreeable light, so I was quickly attended by a spirited young girl asking me challenging questions from a colourful palette on interrogatives. “Is that a large?” “”What drink with that?” “Regular or diet?” “Sit-in or takeaway?”

I expertly slalomed my way through this complex matrix of decisions, being rewarded with a large Big Mac, fries, and popular cola drink, for the princely sum of £4-odd.


Gary chose a large Quarterpounder with Cheese, fries and popular cola drink, for around the same price.

The tables and chairs were basic, but clean and functional. We unpacked our food and beheld it in all its majesty. My Big Large Mac looked rather like the display pictures, which was heartening. Shards of lettuce poked out at jaunty angles. Taste wise, the dominant flavour came from the gherkins. The meat offered a transverse medium for the pickled piquancy, rather than providing a strong savoury meatiness to contend with it. The bun offered padding. The cheese offered little.

Gary fared a little better, by simple virtue of his burger being augmented by a few more condiments, to tickle his palette. Ketchup and mustard had a little play with the gherkins, creating something at least touch more interesting.


The fries were suitably salty, and the popular cola drink chilled to teeth chattering coldness. What’s more, the popular cola drink came with a lovely free glass!


Overall, Gary’s verdict was, “it was exactly as expected.” I have to say, that’s pretty close to what I thought as well. Big chains like McDonald’s have a bad name, but I can think of countless restaurants that people hammer for lack of consistent delivery. We had a pretty good go at that type of thing with our review of Whigham’s. With McDonald’s, you get a consistent product. That can be extremely comforting. You don’t get oodles of imagination, style, elegance or panache, but in case you were wondering if they’re still serving the same stuff you used to eat, last time you visited, I can confirm that they are.

Scores
Gary scores McDonald’s
3/5 for food
3/5 for presentation
3/5 for service
3/5 for setting
giving an overall score of 12/20

Blythe scores McDonald’s
2/5 for food
3/5 for presentation
3/5 for service
3/5 for setting
giving an overall score of 11/20

Today’s Lunch Questers were: Gary, Blythe

We wore: Wednesday ware

We ate: quarter-pounder with cheese, Big Mac, fries

We drank: popular Cola drink

Total Bill: c.£9